Arrogant Pride

I Hope For Something More

“Pride will cost you everything, but leave you with nothing.”

Unknown

“Hope…sometimes that’s all you have when you have nothing else.  If you have it, you have everything.”

Unkown

I’ve grouped these two quotes together because I have confused the meanings of the two for a very long time.  As I’ve mentioned before, arrogant pride has been one of the leading causes to the abuse in my life.  There were those around me that wanted, more than anything, to appear as if their lives were perfect and that they were something to be held in the highest regard at all times.  If I ever said or did anything that did not meet their approval, sometimes when I wasn’t even talking about or to them, they would rip me to pieces and often attacked anything about me that would come to their minds.  Because of this, I have done whatever I can not to be prideful.  However, in my quest to not be prideful, I’ve, instead, not looked on anything I’ve done as good.

I have written a lot over the last couple of years, increasingly more as I’ve continued the blog.  When I write something that I feel God wanted me to say, I’ve ended up with what I defined, as pride.  I would then turn my thoughts inward and start chastising myself for thinking anything positive about what I had just created.

Since I’ve lived in a world that has made feelings off-limits, especially if they were bad feelings, I am not really sure what some feelings even mean.  As I’ve also said before, my counselor has me defining words and I am floored when I read a definition of a word and it doesn’t even come close to meaning what I thought it meant.  It makes me feel pretty stupid to not know what simple words mean at my age, but that’s what abuse does to a person.

Before I go further, I have to write the definition of pride the way I think of it.  Pride is “having, proceeding from, or showing a high opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, or superiority”.  To take it a step further, the pride of those around me was arrogant pride which is defined as “having or displaying a sense of overbearing self-worth or self-importance. Marked by or arising from a feeling or assumption of one’s superiority toward others.”  That’s a step worse than what actual pride is.

But, there is another definition of pride that I had completely lost sight of:  “feeling pleasure or satisfaction over something regarded as highly honorable or creditable to oneself”.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with this type of pride as long as it doesn’t slip into the other type of pride.  In fact, this is the way we should feel when we’ve worked hard at something and done it to the best of our ability.  It’s called taking pride in your work.  It’s admirable and the way you should do everything.  Comparing yourself to others doesn’t play into this at all, just that you’ve done the best you can do, which is all anyone can ask of themselves or anyone else.

I was telling my friend about how I had written something I was happy with and I was upset because I felt I was being prideful.  She told me she believed I was confusing pride with hope.  It made sense to me.  I wanted what I wrote to speak into someone else’s life.  I also wanted to get to a point where my writing would become more than a hobby.  I hope for something more to come of it all.  There is nothing wrong with this and, in fact, hope is what gives life purpose and drive.  Without hope there isn’t much incentive to do or accomplish much and it is just getting by and making it through your days rather than really grabbing each moment and getting everything out of living that you can.

Hope can be all you have left and you’ll have everything you need, but arrogant pride will suck the life out of you and everyone around you.  You are truly left with nothing.  My ultimate hope is in Jesus, but I hope for what is to come as well and I’ll keep working towards what can be.

~ Joanna Lynn

(This is Day 3 of the 3 Quotes, 3 Days challenge.  Thanks again to Travel Much for nominating me.  The rules are to:

• Thank the person who nominated you.
• Post a quote (or three) for three days
• Nominate three bloggers per day for the challenge
• Notify the bloggers about your nomination.

My nominations for today are:

• Dreams and Escapes
• It Is Still Real
• Saved and Blessed

These are amazing blogs by amazing people.  Stop by and check out their site.)