Weekend Coffee Share 6/12/16
God’s Plans Are Better
Hawaii
If we were having hot chocolate:
I’d tell you that I planned a trip for my youngest and I to go to Hawaii in a little over a week. I was so sure this was something I was supposed to do with him. I’d prayed about it many times and felt God telling me he needed the time spent just with me for some bonding time. However, when I started making plans to do some activities, I realized that the hotel where reservations were made for us were on the big island of Hawaii instead of Oahu, where we were flying into and planning to be. With the short period of time left before we were to leave, the price for the hotel stay alone would be two to three times the price I paid for accommodations. I would also have to reschedule my car rental for a higher price and so on. After the horrific nightmare of trying to get the correct flights, car rental and vacation insurance, I took this latest issue as a sign this was not the trip to take.
As I’ve thought and prayed about canceling the trip, I remembered that I never felt right about Hawaii as the destination. I figured my unease with it was because it was where the one I loved and I were supposed to go for our 25th anniversary this year. But it became clearer and clearer to me that my unease was because my youngest gets bored easily and is always ready for the next thing. Part of the enjoyment of Hawaii for me would be the relaxing with the water in front of me and nature all around. That would never do with him for too long. He loves to DO things and it was always in the back of my mind that he would get bored with Hawaii long before it was time to go (just like when we went to Disney World for five days. He was done at 3 1/2 days even when we were going to different parks every day.). One thing I’ve learned over my life is when I’m making plans to not hold too tightly to them.
So, we now have a new plan and I think it will be perfect for him. We are going to go on several event trips. Our biggest one will probably be to Caifornia to go whale watching (a love from when he was young) and maybe a Lakers game, Disneyland or something. We’re also looking into maybe finding a professional frisbee golf competition and/or a skateboarding one. For the time we were to be on our trip, he’d love to go to Holiday World for a couple days, so I think that’s what we’ll do. He seems way more excited about these trips and didn’t get upset at all when I asked him about canceling the Hawaii trip. While I had plans to go to Hawaii, God’s plans were better – as always.
Making Plans I Don’t Want To Do
Why Couldn’t You Love Me?
If we were having hot chocolate:
I would tell you that I’m really struggling with the latest assignment my counselor has given me. Evidently, to get past the unexpected memories hitting me at odd times, she has asked me to write an apology letter to myself from the one I loved. As I thought and prayed about it, I became more and more angry. I can’t seem to get to the understanding of why I have to try to put words into his mouth that never came out of it. To apologize to myself for all he did makes me sick to my stomach.
However, it is evidently wrong of me to be angry because when I told my counselor this, she basically said that getting angry and putting off doing the letter is choosing to stay stuck where I am in some way. I told her that didn’t mean I wouldn’t do it, but who wouldn’t get angry at having to say sorry to themselves? I mean, honestly! So, I’m making plans to do the assignment even though it makes me sick to my stomach. Clearly, I will have to write whatever words I would have wanted him to say, but it can’t be done in one letter. There are subjects of hurts – not protecting me, the other women, complimenting me only to turn around in a day or two and rip me apart for the same thing for which he had just complimented me, and so on. It doesn’t really matter how it makes me feel, as long as I get the stupid letters written.
…but I’m not bitter…
Hope you’ve had a good week. Has anything funny happened in your life? Or are you having a rough week? Are you making plans for a summer trip?
~ Joanna Lynn
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