If we were having hot chocolate:
I’d share some of the South Bend Chocolate Company chocolate I bought with my friends. Yum! For me to share my chocolate would say a lot about what I think about you because I’m even hiding it from my family! (Yeah, I’m that type of mom – if I weren’t I wouldn’t get any and that isn’t going to happen.)
I would then tell you about the three days I spent with six amazing ladies and friends of mine at the The Gospel Coalition Women’s conference here in Indy. Conferences are so much better when you’re not alone. The conference covered the complete book of 1 Peter, which is about the suffering in our walk with Jesus and how we can use these times for good. It went deeper than this and was one of the best conferences I have attended. We were all blessed by what we heard, but I think the reason my heart was touched so much was more because I was with my friends.
Two others joined us the last day at our friend’s house for a cookout (Thanks, Tami) and some really good conversation and prayer. To be surrounded by those who hold a special place in your life makes anything special. These women are spectacular. To know the hearts of your friends and to be able to speak what is truly on your mind and your thoughts without hesitation is a gift.
The first day we were together, I noticed a ring one of my friends was wearing. I loved the design and then she showed me the engraving on the inside. It said, “A journey of faith is a journey of love”. I loved that the cross was encased in a heart, since the cross was the greatest gift we could ever receive. The engraving hit where I am in my walk through life. I am taking huge steps of faith now from my writing to facing the past and hopefully redeeming it.
After we finished eating at the cookout, she came up to me and handed me the ring telling me it was mine. So, so sweet! I love the ring and all it represents, but it means the most to me because my friend gave it to me. (Thanks, Tammy!) It’s a perfect reminder to me that I’m not alone in the journey I’m on both by the presence of my friends and the love of God.
If we were having hot chocolate:
I’d tell you that I feel like I’ve had a respite from going back to work on the assignment from my counselor. On Friday, I felt so much better and even felt free. Today, my stomach hurts again because I know tomorrow I have to face the first item from the letter I wrote about how I wish the one I loved had protected me.
This wouldn’t be as tough of an assignment if my counselor hadn’t told me that I had to actually feel the feelings that went along with what I wrote. She said that feelings weren’t bad and I had to totally disagree with her! Hard feelings were rarely accepted by many around me and the person causing the hard feelings would rarely apologize or even want to talk about the issue. They usually, instead, told me that I was being selfish or that I was somehow at fault for the way I felt. What makes it worse if that I have actually built my life around the “fact’ that I was a selfish person. It’s a horrible feeling when every time you are hurt, instead of dealing with and working through it, you spend the time figuring out how you caused the pain by being selfish. Then you think you could have prevented the pain if you hadn’t made the other person angry. There is no healing in this and it is horrible on relationships with people who really care about you and you care about them, because they do care if they hurt you but you rarely tell them. Instead, a distance is placed instead where the hurt now resides. I know this has to change but I’m not really sure how to go about accomplishing it. I’ve lived my life thinking that all the problems in my life had to be handled alone, but I have to somehow learn how to stop this because I’m not alone. This week was a wonderful reminder of this fact.
So, have you done anything interesting this week? Have you had any tough times that made you question who you are? I hope not, but I want you to remember you are not alone either.
~ Joanna Lynn
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