Hi, welcome. I love when we get together. The beverages are nice, but I love the conversation the most. I just like hanging together. So, how was your week? Did you do anything special. Was it a busy week? Rough? Fun? I’d love to hear what’s going on with you. Two words describe my last week: quiet and dreams.
My week was pretty quiet…literally. I’m not saying that I didn’t do a lot, I’m just saying it was quiet…silent… It was good. Why was it so quiet, you ask? My youngest was away at Boy Scout summer camp all week. He is what could be called a…conversationalist. He loves to talk. This is fun and a good thing. But, sometimes, I just need and want some quiet. During the summer, there’s not much of that around here. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love my boys and they keep life interesting. There is always something going on…sometimes different things from minute to minute where my youngest is concerned. It’s good, but it makes it very noticeable when he isn’t here for longer periods of time. So, it’s been quiet and I’ve been able to get several things done in my yard. I feel like I’ve accomplished some things while he’s been gone. So, that takes care of the quiet part of the quiet and dreams.
Since I’ve had the quiet, I’ve a lot of time to think about life more clearly. I feel like I’ve spent so much time waiting for life to happen. I want to have a life of future and focus and promise here on earth, but I’ve never known how to do it or even what it is I’m aiming towards. I wonder if what I keep hoping and striving for is something I’ll ever know. Will I recognize it when it does happen? Have you ever felt this way or am I just nuts? OK, I already know that I am nuts as do the people who know me really well. I guess I just feel lost. I feel like I have no real direction or goals other than my to-do list.
I know I’m supposed to write, but I really have no idea to what end. I always hear about platforms and coming up with a focus for a blog that others need or want. I think about it, pray about it and so on, but I just don’t feel any direction. I feel like I’m walking blind. I would love to just have a lightbulb go off and know what direction I’m supposed to take…see the big picture, know the aim and purpose. But I feel aimless. I have felt this way in so many areas of my life for most of my life. I know I want to tell others about God and finding life outside of abusive relationships, but those are both such vast subjects. I wish I had that laser vision to my dreams and the ideas of how to reach them. Do you have a dream? What are you doing to reach those dreams?
Come to think of it now, maybe it’s better if I don’t have much quiet in my life. I clearly think too much when I have it. Quiet and dreams go together, I know, but I’m hoping that one of those quiet times will come with some direction sometime soon.
~ Joanna Lynn