Welcome again to another Weekend Coffee Share. I really love to have these times, especially hearing about what everyone has done over the past week and plans they have coming up. We will definitely want something warm today. We have moved into cold weather and I would love a hot chocolate. Would you like to join me for a cup?
The beautiful weather has gone and it is cold now. I understand some will want to tell me that cold weather can be more beautiful than warm weather. I will tell you now, though, you will not be changing my mind. Cold weather and I do not mix at all and I hate every minute of being out in the cold. It’s brutal. I would rather be scorched than turned into a snowman (woman). Then why do I live in the Midwest where winter is a given? Good question. I take that question up with God occasionally, but it’s home and I do love Indianapolis. I think it’s one of the best places a person can live. The best of city life with a midwestern friendly feel to it.
I absolutely loved the weather last week. Thursday and Friday were even in the 70’s. I was wearing short-sleeved shirts and got more winter readying work done in my yard than I ever have. I can actually look at my yard during the winter and not see things I need to do. It looks good. I even put out a couple Christmas decorations (without lighting them – that will happen Thanksgiving night). I love to decorate for Christmas, but I get a little testy if things don’t go up quickly when it’s cold outside (have I mentioned I don’t like cold weather?).
I had lunch with one of my friends last week. We’ve known each other since college at Ball State University. We were in the same large group of friends, but we didn’t spend a lot of time in small groups or just the two of us doing things in college, but we always liked each other and talked when we were together. Since college, we have become really good friends. We both live in Indianapolis and are able to get together on a regular basis. After lunch this week, she made a comment about how she felt like she’d spent time with her sister when we were together. I was so touched and told her that I loved being with her. It was a great feeling and I’m so blessed to have her in my life where we know each other’s histories and we’ve shared our lives. It makes talking about what’s happening now so good because we know how things have been for us in the past to compare. I love friends of all lengths of time in my life, but the ones that have been with you for many years feel more like family than friends. I’m blessed for sure.
It was a really good week, but the nightmares are still in full force. I’d like to say I’m OK with them now, but I’m not. I’m not sure if I like them better when I remember them or when I don’t. When I remember them, I can evaluate them some, but the words and actions also sear into my brain and it is like I’ve just left another abusive interaction with someone or a group of people. When I don’t remember the nightmares, I have no idea what’s happened, but I’m overwhelmed with sadness and anxiety (sometimes – that’s really disconcerting when you have no idea why you’re anxious about something). I can’t analyze these dreams or even figure out where they’ve come from. Last night, I had a few dreams that I remember. I understand the feelings and where they’re coming from, but they also brought out very rough memories and feelings about the abuse in my life as well as the abusive people. I’m praying all the nightmares will go away soon, but since I’m not completely sure why they’re in full swing now, there’s nothing much I can do, so I’ll just keep moving forward.
Well, with that said, I’ve given you the highlights and lowlights of my week. I am really looking forward to this week with Thanksgiving and the long weekend. This year the boys will be with us at my family celebration and then they will leave the next morning to go a couple states away to celebrate Christmas with my husband’s family. That means some quiet time for me. Actually, my mom will be staying the weekend with my oldest brother, so it will just be my middle brother and me at the house. Ahhh! I need some quiet. What are your plans for the upcoming holiday and weekend? I’d love to hear from you.
~ Joanna Lynn